Feel better, Damnit!

So much to talk abouttttt.

So AMSTUD History teacher assigns a "one to two paged essay" due the next morning... on a topic so vague I had no idea where to start. I didn't even know how to answer the darned question. I'm still shaky about what I finally passed in. It was hard getting it done too, as you'll see below, but I surprised even myself and managed to turn out some quality, as you'll see below as well, considering the circumstance.

Last night, work 3:30 to 9:30. With a supervisor who I don't always see eye to eye with necessarily, but that can be worked out and around without all that much of an effort. But, as working the cash register, by myself, I hit my head on the counter. It's really quite simple, I went to throw something in the trash can and hit my head. Killed like you wouldn't believe, and still does. I looked like a total idiot walking around with the heel of my hand up against my head where I'd just hit it. But I was also the ONLY person working the sales floor. By myself. Which in some cases I find quite honorable, seeing as they have enough faith in me to do that. I think it's great, you know. But on the second hand, I've been there a matter of not quite two months now, and how do I feel about working the whole floor alone? I don't like it. And then I asked my supervisor about it, asking if I could have some help or at least a replacement, it was denyed? Whatever....
My head still kills :(

Then I get home, and my dad is LIVID. I can see it in his eyes. He found my away message, which stated "how am i supposed to write a two paged essay while working till 930? hmmm... text me" and so, he saw that i had an essay, that I had not written, at all. flipped out, completely. how he'd take my car and ground me for so long that i'd have to learn how to use a computer again by the time i saw it next. whole nine yards. what pissed him off though is that i had NO idea who had IMed me, simply because they IM'ed my away message... I hadn't actually said anything and knew nothing about it. And he thought I was lying to him. When I really wasn't, you know? I didn't know. It's better now though I think... not quite sure? Hmm.

Due to that, it was a bit of a rough morning. So I left the house a few minutes earlier than I usually do, and treated myself to a much needed and well deserved iced coffee. Yep, I'd drink an iced coffee in 40 degree weather. I didn't really care how cold it was to be honest, it was more for the content. Plus I'm one of those major straw chewers, which I know is horrible, but it just made me feel better. So while drinking my iced coffee and walking up the street with Ashleigh, we were going to stop and say hello to scottt <3 But wait. We can't. Nick's there! Which I downright and completely refuse to be there while Nick is. I can't be around him, I'm done with him, and I'm officially refusing to be under his spell of tortures anymore. Ashleigh feels the same way, although I think she'd actually cause him physical harm if she was close enough. So we just kept walking. Scott was upset by this- and I told him, and he understood. After a little convincing. But hey, it's cool. Got to meet up with him a few times today, which was nice having someone care, ask you how your days going, give you a kiss and say it's going to be okay. And then when your on your way out, telling you to take it easy. In a good way, haha. He's so great- he's that light at the end of the tunnel. I knew there was a reason for all of this and that reason being I came out becoming close to him. It's still early, and I know that. But it's okay. I'm content. <3

So back to the AMSTUD story... I'm out. Officially, tomorrow morning at about 7:30 when I bring in my stack of books to hand into him. And I now get out of school earlier, which isn't a bother to me at all :) it's great. I went into guidance, and my councelor was like, so hows it going? and I just looked at him and broke down into tears. I could see in his face that he was shocked, how many people get this emotional about their classes? I do, anyway. Because I know that this is what's going to shape the rest of my life. Where I go, what I do. Anyway. So I tell him that I'm in Level 4 Amstud, and that I need out. That I'm failing miserably and I'm completely drowning and I just need out. Few clicks on the computer, and he has my schedule up, ready to change it. No questions asked. During that process, he reassured me that it's okay, and that he gives me the upmost credit for trying it out in the first place, and discussed with me what my options are in terms of switching into new classes. He gave me the option on what I wanted, when I wanted it. So I picked to go into College Comp. Mod D, and have US History Mod F. (I chose carefully with my teachers, haha.) G and H off, kind of fabulous I think! It's going to work out really well having that extra bit of time to finish up more work and what not. And afterwards, he asked me about my having mod H off- which I told him I had a special case permission from Mr. Mailhot, (in where the tears start again, which always do when it comes to my brother) and he said it wasn't a problem and worked around it :) I gotta say Mr. Cannon is the greatest- told me not to take it personal, that i'm personally NOT a failure, and that I'm still going to go to college and have a great life. Quote, unquote. I left school feeling optomistic, finally happy again.

So then I get out of school, go down to the tailor's for my dress fitting :D The seamstress is quite amazing, she's this adorable little french woman with a thick accent quite like my grandmothers, so it was sort of comforting in that way, and she knew exactly what i wanted and i can tell already that it's going to come out perfecttt <3 Go into Goodwill, see Skye, get Ashleigh's app, it's allll goood.

It's kind of like... this huge burden has been lifted off of me. I'm not under Nick's wing anymore. He took me in when my own wings were broken. But I'm healed now, ready to break out and fly. And I did that. The other part being burdened down and so stressed out for just about two months on a class that I never foresaw myself being in in the first place. It's great you know. It really is.

I'm.. free.

Feel better, damnit. I have the best friends, on the face of the planet.

So since I'm feeling all happppy, I'm going to give a few shout outs.

IAN! you've been so supportive through everything, you've never judged me like everyone else has, you've been the best. no matter how much you deny that. thank you for everything :)
Ash<3 you know your my best friend, but let me just say that a few more times :) you know just what to say always to make me realize the light in the situation. i couldn't have done this without you.
Kevinnn (: you are, the funniest guy I have ever met, legit, and the fact that you give the BEST hugs EVER only adds to your amazingness. We haven't even been friends that long and already i can't live without you. :)
Taylor~ you've been so open with me and been one of the best people to turn to just to talk, because you don't judge me either. you hardly even know me, but you don't judge me. you're honest. and have sympathy. but you tell me things straight up, no sugar coating, and i need that. thanksss :)

Alrighty, I'm wiped out.

Since i'm out of amstud, i have zero homework for this evening. well i have a bit of french, but i can do that in the morning. isn't that fabulous :)