I feel good about this.

I wrote this for creative writing today... but at the same time a lot of my personal emotion went into it and I feel really good about it. So, even though I never do this, I'm going to share my writing that I didn't write specifically for this blog (: It's not true to my life, you'll see what I mean when you read, but some will be able to tell where my inspiration came from...

Just to clear up confusion, the writing prompt had to have this sentence in there: "I couldn't help but notice the UPS package on the porch."

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I hoped this day would never come. It's inevitable, though, and I hate to face the fact that today he's leaving me. I stared at the neon 6:58 blinking in my face. In two minutes the alarm would start to buxx and he'd be awake. I choose to take these last two minutes to watch Jon sleep peacefully. 120 breaths later, the clock goes off and he stirs to a grumpy awakening. Rolling onto his side, Jon looks me straight in the eyes.
"Good morning, babe," he whispers. "How long have you been up?"
"Not long," I lie. "only a few minutes."
"Well, that's good," he responds, flashing me my favorite smile. I try to break one in return. I've gotten really good at faking. Jon shifts to look at the clock; it now reads 7:07.
"Make a wish," he says, as he pulls me in at the waist and kisses me. The butterflies in my tummy flutter just as they did when I first met him. After all this time, nothing's changed. It still feels the same.
The strength of his arms breaks too quickly, and he jumps out of bed to get ready for the day. He stretches his arms into his camoflauge prints, and laces up his boots. I throw on my favorite jeans, the first t shirt I rummage across, and a pair of faded flip flops.
"You ready?" Jon yells up the stairs. "We're meeting my mom soon."
I shuffle downstairs and we drive off to meet Jon's family. They all hug us both and we walk into the airport. A hundred other army girlfriends are all doing the same as I am- cherishing the last moments. Jon hugs his family and saves me for last.
"I'll miss you," he says as he pulls me close to him. "I'll call when I can. Don't wait around, though. Keep on living. I'll be back before you even know it."
I look him deep in the eyes as the boarding call for United Airlines, number 652 to Baghdad is made.
"I'll wait for you," I say as I steal one last kiss before I send my soldier off to war. I'm proud of myself for not crying.
Just over eight hours later I receive a text from a number I don't recognize. "I'm in Germany, thinking of you. I can't get texts yet so don't try to answer. Check the front porch. I miss you."
I snap the phone shut and fly to the front of our tiny house. I couldn't help but notice the UPS package on the porch. I bring it inside and tear it open. Inside was a blanket, all kinds of junk-comfort food, movies, and my favorite picture of me and Jon in a delicate silver frame. Attached to it is a note that reads, "Just a little something to help you through your first night."
So much for not crying.

the past two days have been the best days of my summer. xo (:


11months2days!

Guess what Ian? I agree with you!

(but hey, what else is new?)

Stupid Amy, that rhymes...... lmao.


Anyways. I just got home from a weekend away and saw Ian's blog of how this is his first free August in years. This is also mine, as well. (:

I can't describe how great it feels for the first time in the memorable past that I'm not caught up in someone. I can focus on me, and that feels awesome. I don't have to answer to anyone, no one wants to know where I am, what I'm doing and who I'm with. No one's going to tell me that they'd rather I wore blue because I look better in it, that I should relieve some stress or get more sleep. No one's going to try to 'protect me' from themselves.

No one's going to screw with my life, plain and simple.

I do what I want, whenever I want to. Whatever that may be, and wherever it may lead me.

Again with the damn rhyming!

I love my life. And I love everyone in it (:

I'm going to plan my sister's wedding which is in just over a year, I'm going to start picking out colleges, I'm going to focus on this year being my best academically, I'm going to do everything I want to do and more.

Sidenote, I owe $800 on my car. That's it. No more four digit numbers. Oh, what a feeling (:

I'm outta here.

Peace (:

I said what I meant.
And I meant what I said.

You've crossed the line, controlled too hard and too long. I'm finished with your games, the bs, all of it.

I. Hate. You.

This weekend was exactly what I needed.

Exactly as the title describes. This weekend was so perfect. I spent it with my family which may seem incredibly annoying, but it really wasn't. It was relatively calm. It was my family, my dad's best friend and his wife, and then his friend, girlfriend and daughter. Three campsites side by side. Right next to the pool. And we played family feud against the other campers. We swam all day, and ate all night. We got up before the sun rose, and went down way after it had set. But no matter the lack of sleep, none of us were ever tired. Even Olivia, the 10 year old daughter of my dad's friend, wasn't tired. I sat next to a fire with a book, blanket, and great company.

I can't describe how nice it was to kick back, take a weekend off from work, and just keep it nice and calm and quiet with my family. I braided Olivia's hair and my dad's friends would pull on it. She'd scream and run around, like a typical little girl. It made me smile because it's the exact same thing they used to do to me when I was her age. So as I was sitting there braiding my own hair, he came over to me and yanked the braid out. Not forcefully or harmfully, just playing around to piss me off and get me going. I growled, got up, and smack him around a little. He proceeds to grab me by the neck, again extremely playfully, and messes up my hair again. After, he looks me straight in the face and says, you know it's only 'cause I love you.

My brother and myself rented a paddle boat to explore the lake. A $7 well spent, because for the hour we paddled out as far as you could see from shore. Sore as hell, but we did it. We had the time of our lives in an overrated hunk of plastic with two sets of bike pedals to move it.

it made me realize that no matter how much I need the money, taking the weekend off was one of the best things I could have done for myself. I forgot about all my troubles back home, everything that I'd been stressing out about. All the crap going on at work, all the people who've been beating me down.

This is the first summer in years I can actually say I didn't sit around all summer. I actually did things that I wanted to do. Even though I haven't seen Ian, Kevin, Taylor, Dylan, Penny, or any one else for that matter, I still did intersting things. I miss everyone, seeming as I've worked almost every day of the summer.

Ian and Kevin, I can't wait to see you guys when school starts. I miss you guys ! (:

This year's going to be good. The summer before it was good, so this year is going to be just as good. I'm not going to dwell on the seniors that are gone, because after three years I've built myself up enough to take their place.

I'm ready to do it- to spread my wings and fly. They may be gone, and their memories forever left in my heart, but it's time I stood up and said, I am the top of the top. I am the best of the best. I have worked my ass off, I have paid my dues and done my share. I've been hurt by my best friend. I've watched the man I loved love someone else. I got thrown out on the street by someone who meant the world to me. I've done it all, seen it all, and am prepared to take on anything now.

Look out, Central. The seniors of 2011 are going to kick some major ass this year, and you better be ready for it.

I love my life, and I love everyone in it. Period.

<3

Summer Slump

So this summer, I haven't really blogged. Hardly any, in fact. I call it my summer slump. Not being able to put thoughts into phrases, or phrases into sentences. It's pathetic, because I know I am so much more accomplished than this.

I just never have anything substantial to write about.

Right now there's a cake baking that I'm bringing to my dad2's house tomorrow. For those of you who were wondering, I have 2 dads. My biological father, who is my dad first and foremost, and whom I am for the most of the time close with. Then there is my dad's best friend, who has two sons, but no daughters. So, he's sort of assigned himself to my dad 2 role. He does everything my father does. For my birthday he even gave me a card that was meant for a father to give to his daughter.

A year ago at this time I owed my parents just under $6500, granted I'd paid a few payments, so we'll say, $6200. Today, I owe them $1400. Not to mention I paid for everything my car needed, oilchanges, burnt bulbs, gas, and insurance. Someone said to me the other day that I shouldn't have gotten such a 'fancy car' because I had to pick up a second job to pay for it.

Let me set this straight right now.

I didnt HAVE to pick up a second job. I CHOSE to go back to my former job for the summer, because I love the people I work with and it's fun to do. The paycheck is just a sidenote. I do it because it's something to do. Yes, it has put a bit of a strain on my summer, but my car wasn't expensive for what it is, and it is by no means fancy. So, shut up, and pick on someone else !

This morning I got up and checked my phone and had a new picture message from Ian. it's a picture of the picture I drew him last year. And seeing that he still has it, meant a lot to me (: Thanks Ian !

I've also been single for a year now. Officially. My last official relationship was with Nick, which ended briefly after my 16th birthday. It is now briefly after my 17th birthday. Therefore, officially a year. So. What's the freaking problem? It's frustrating. I feel like there's something wrong with me.

I just have serious issues.

I'm going camping this weekend. Get me away from all of this -- sounds like a plaaaaan.