This is my 100th post since October :) Congrats to meee (throws confetti) hahaha.
So looking over my past 100 posts, I realize, what have I posted that's positive? Optomisitic, Happy? Only a few. Like, maybe, 10, 15? 20 even. Either way thats 20% at the max and that's a failing grade. Quite failing. So I figured I'd talk happy today since I am, for now.!
I got to get out of school at 9:30 today. I did everything I had to do and got home at 10. Tonight I'm getting paid from job #2, so that's now two checks from them that I have, and then auto deposit from job #1 tomorroww, so with those three things, bam baby, I'm gonna make a hell of a car payment. Like seriously. I'll be really surprised with myself if I don't have it completely paid by the start of senior year. Which would be a great accomplishment- not even a year and a half to pay almost seven grand. helllll to the yes.
And, tomorrow, is my official start to summer vacation at 11:30. And I am not working. I get to get to a baseball game. And it's gonna be a really good one too! Then Friday. I am not working. At allll. No school, Brick House, or Goodwill. So, I'm gonna spend it doing exactly what I want to do- I'm just not sure what that is yet. But you know what? That's okay, I have all day today and all day tomorrow to figure it out. Thanks again Brandy for covering me tomorrow night :D :D :D
THe most accomplishing thing I've done this year, though, I'd have to say, is getting intune with my feelings. Really being able to pinpoint how I feel and who I feel it about. I learned a lot on myself and how I can control what I feel. How to use it productively. How to ignore it if it's not. But most of all, I completely got over the one thing in life that was holding me back from everything else. Completely. I don't know exactly when it happened. It wasn't something that happened overnight. It was gradual. But it's a gradual achievement that since 7th grade I never though I'd be able to say I did.
But I did it. Me. I did it. :D :D :D :D :D
So now I'm going to talk about what I wanted to talk about in this post.
Driving thoughts.
Yesterday I went to run a few errands for my mom. And as I was driving around here and there, it was approximately, eh, 11:30 AM or so. Each car I passed, I wondered where they were going. Why were they on the road? Shouldn't they be at work? Maybe they work a night shift. Maybe they're a college student home for the summer. Maybe they're on their way TO work. Maybe they're on a break. Maybe they just called in sick and don't want to go. Maybe they don't have a job at all. Maybe they're going to pick up a sick child from school. Maybe they HAVE a job and just didn't go today.
Maybe, like me, they're driving around wondering why everyone else was driving around.
So then, I was driving down the main road that leads to my road by the school, and there was one of those speed limit flashers. You know, the ones that say, Speed Limit 35, and then flash the speed your doing? Does anyone actually listen to them? Like, if the number is flashing in red, it means you're going too fast. So do you slow down just to make the numbers go back to yellow? Do you ignore it? Do you slow down and then go back to your normal speed?
Depends how I'm feeling, I guess. If I feel like it, sure, I'll slow down a little. If I don't, I keep right on trekking. Those things blink red at like. One mile an hour over. So. Yeah. But I was really wondering. How do people generally respond to them?
So then I went to the Puritan Backroom to get a gift card for my brothers one on one. I walk up to the podium, and I ask to purchase one. And she was kind of rude to me. Like, an, ugh, dont wanna be here. Tough. Why do people act like an asshole at their jobs? Maybe she got dumped last night. Maybe she caught her boyfriend cheating on her last night. Maybe her dog died. Maybe her cat ate her pet fish. Maybe she's getting fired.
Then I went to the dollar store to get a card to put the gift card in. And the cashier was working on something next to the register. And she was totally in the zone and working really hard, and I totally didn't have the heart to interrupt her for a 50 cent card. I knew she'd see me standing there anyways and I was in no rush. So another customer came up behind me, and asked if that was the cashier. I said, I think so, she's just in the middle of something. And the woman says to me, "well, she's in no rush now is she," I got really mad at this, its not her right to be judging her just because she didn't see me standing there. So I reply, "She's just in the middle of something, why don't you just wait a minute and calm down?" That got me wondering- what made that woman so irritated? Maybe she was running late and needed to get out of there. Maybe her cat died. Maybe she just didn't like the cashier (who I think is one of the nicest people I've ever met, by the way!) Maybe her car is in the shop. Maybe she has to have surgery next week.
And as I was driving back home, I realized that I had just spent the past hour wondering about everyone else. Wondering why they are the way they are. Then I wondered, do people ever wonder the same thing about me? Probably, if I'm wondering the same thing about them.
That in itself made me realize- I have to stop wondering about everyone else, what they're thinking, feeling, or doing, and I have to wonder and worry about myself.
I think that's why I'm so happy today- because I did that all of yesterday. (after I got home. hahaha) And I took the time to do something for myself. Due to that, I now have a Friday planned that's going to be awesome- and going to make me smile even more.
Driving thoughts: noun: thoughts that drive you to think about other thoughts, while you're driving. :D
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